Part of our identity is ripped away with trauma. Am I still a mom after my child dies? Am I still a strong, confident woman if my partner deceived me throughout our relationship? Regardless of the trauma, the question, “who am I now?” must be answered. You can choose, or the trauma will choose for you.

Trauma isn’t what changes us. It’s the question we must ask and answer afterward.

There are times when harsh moments nudge us into new, important, and necessary change.

This article is a reflection back on a scene from my memoir at a time when the experience was too raw to appreciate its significance.

This is a scene I didn’t include in my memoir but can’t let go of. It occurred during Family Week at my former husband’s rehab center. It stays close because I can’t explain my choice to stay silent. It felt like a failure then and feels like one still. It occurred during Family Week at my former husband’s rehab center. And my silence in that glaring pain still haunts me. I’d like to think it’s a sign that I would never be silent now.

I set myself aside I now realize years later. Shouldn’t our psyche’s be conscious of the moment we lost ourselves? Why did I fail me in the process?

I Don’t Know Who I Used to Be

Shadow. The life of a woman.

Are we different people after life shreads us?