What is the line between private matters and public matters when women are being abused? How many around Epstein, Wexner, Chopra, Gates, Swalwell, Gonzales, etc, etc, etc. had knowledge of ugliness yet stayed quiet? Ignoring the NDA issue for a moment, it’s impossible to believe horrendous behavior was completely hidden from view.

When do open secrets become our responsibility to address? We are failing women. And we all have hard questions to ask.

Some of us freeze simply because we’re caught off-guard by the ask and fear fumbling the answer. Or we don’t yet know how we feel about the subject at hand, so we mumble something inane or shrug, hoping to avoid the subject.

But I want to talk about another kind of silence, vulnerability silence. Trauma silence.

I have a story about a lizard and a cardinal but of course it’s about more than that.

A new trauma has struck, requiring a new version of silence and a new way to find my voice. Can I balance the part of silence that my grief requires against my need to not deny my voice? Only time will show me if I’ve learned.